Why Instant Bonding Doesn't Always Happen With Your Newborn

Whenever my daughter was born, it was quite a whirlwind of events that led up to her birth, and it was almost like I was living in a dream while it happened. Ironically, I don't think I slept for the first 48 hours. Things started the day before our daughter's birth, when our midwife told us that my wife's blood pressure was extremely high, and when we went to the hospital, we learned that my wife was going to have to be induced into labor. We were both caught well off guard by this news, and I could tell that my wife was extremely nervous and quite apprehensive about everything. She was induced only an hour after we got the news, and it took almost 10 hours for the actual delivery to take place. After that my wife had to push for several more hours, and the baby still did not want to come out. Apparently, she was stuck by my wife's pubic bone and nothing the nurses or doctors did seemed to be working.

Eventually the doctor said that my wife's uterus was being taxed too much, and decided to use forceps to deliver our daughter. This was quite a tumultuous time, and by the time my daughter was finally delivered, I was more relieved than anything. When the nurse gave me my daughter, I have to say that I did not feel an instant bond. I was more concerned about my wife who had gone through such a difficult labor. I quickly gave the baby back and had to speak with my mother-in-law, who asked me what I thought about my newborn daughter, and I really couldn't give her an answer. I actually didn't have any real feelings towards my daughter to be honest, so the really wasn't much for me to say.

However, later on that evening as we were left alone in our hospital room for the first time in almost 24 hours, I went to pick my daughter up, and this is when I really started to form a bond with her. Over the next several days, I literally started to fall in love with her, and I knew that I would do anything to protect her and that she was going to be the apple of eye for many years to come. So if you don't get an instant connection with your newborn, it is only natural, and I can assure you that this means very little. You will eventually find that bond with your baby, just as I did.


------

William is passionate about his parenting blog, which offers up his experiences of being a new dad. He has just made his latest post discussing what you should know about cramping in early pregnancy.